Xepher
by Teh Pocky Ninja
Summary: We met over Cosplay Chess. We fell in love over DanceDance Revolution. But hey, that's the crazy lives of a bunch of otaku at one of their beloved conventions! sAsXsAk, AU, crack, fluff, and anime geek in-jokes. Enjoy, all you otaku out there.


**Xepher. Because Otaku PWN. **

* * *

"…Done yet?"

"Aaaaand…done!" I announced, unceremoniously dropping the towel I held onto the wide-eyed face below it.

I stepped back, allowing my best-friend-since-forever to sit up, stiff after bending over backwards for so long. I could hear his bones creak as he stretched, careful to keep his towel from slipping off onto the color-splattered floor.

"How's it look, Sakura-chan?" he asked, fingering his wet hair.

"Perfect!" I squealed happily, clapping. "The color's just right!"

"Can I have a mirror?"

"Sure," I said, handing him the small plastic one next to various bottles lining the inside of my tiny kitchen.

"Sweet job, Sakura-chan!"

"Well next time don't wait until the last minute, Naruto. You're lucky I had some spare dye leftover."

He grinned sheepishly, giving a mumbled apology.

"At least tell me your costume's finished," I said warily, clearing up some of the junk cluttering up my kitchen table. Hair-dyeing is way more complicated than it looks, kiddies!

"Of course it's finished! The hair was all I needed."

I smiled, pleased with myself. It's not just anybody who can turn their best friend's blonde spikes a carrot-y orange in just under an hour.

"If you left it like that, it'd match your clothes," I said, smirking as I emptied the basin of orangey glop leftover from the dyeing into the sink.

"I've heard _that_ one before. Oh man, I hope there's nobody else as the same person! Man, that'd suck!"

"If you're playing someone popular, of course there will be," I explained as he took the towel off his head, shaking it for a few seconds. "That's why I never pick those iconic guys."

"But Sakura-chan, will anybody even know who you are?"

"Of course! Princess Mononoke was a great movie!"

"But… you sure?"

"People will, just you wait," I retorted, though secretly I knew he was probably right. "Now stay still for a bit, I have to get things all set up for tomorrow."

"Is your mom driving?" asked Naruto, his pinky squeaking the water out of his ear.

"Yup, and giving me some cash. We all know how much the Dealers' Room burns a hole in your wallet."

Naruto grinned, having almost as much experience as me when it came to buying fan-memorabilia.

"Well, that's conventions for ya."

* * *

"Mom, please, for the love of Pocky turn off the radio!"

"Come on, Sweetheart! You need to listen to something other than that awful "bubbly-gum" foreign stuff you blast your ears with!" replies my mom, sickeningly cheerful.

"It's called _J-pop!_" I shouted over the blaring classical station. "Please turn down the freakin' radio!"

I scooted around in my passenger seat in the car to glare at Naruto sitting calmly in the back.

"Well?! Aren't you going to _do_ anything?!" I practically snap.

I fumed quietly as he pulls a pair of earbuds out of his now-bright orange hair. "WHAT?" he half-shouts over the blare of Classical Blah 101.

I sighed, shaking my head as I turn back around to the road stretching before us. We've been in the car since nine in the morning, and still no sign of the con center. And did I mention the AC was broken? And it's the middle of June? And I'm sitting in a scratchy seat wearing _fur_?

"Why aren't we there ye-?!"

"Oh look, kids. There it is."

I forgot to be mad at my mom's interruption as the blindingly-white hotel center appears, looming up before us like a tidal wave. I could practically hear the Japanese as we drive towards it.

"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!" Naruto and I squealed in unison like delighted fangirls. His seatbelt could barely restrain him when he started bouncing around in the back seat.

"All right kids," my mom says as she pulled over just in front of those heavenly entrance doors (seriously, I bet the Pearly Gates look just like that!) before beginning the Pre-Con Talk. "I expect you to be here exactly at seven, understand? I'm not going in there to find you!"

I glanced at Naruto and we roll our eyes. My mom has possibly the world's biggest case of geek-phobia ever. She'd rather dive into a swimming pool of rat pee than get stuck with us at our "ghastly gatherings."

After almost forgetting my wooden spear in the trunk, we bolted out of the car at practically the speed of a Super Saiyan on drugs, nearly forgetting to _open_ the double-doors before we crash loudly through them.

Everyone lives for that moment (or ten) of walking through the doors to the biggest con in your tri-country area. We just stood there and gaped, possibly drooling like yaoi fangirls at an all-male summer swimsuit con. I kid you not, there were angels singing.

(No, really. A bunch of Angels were doing the opening theme to "Lucky Star." And a Shinji next to them, but he was kind of off-key so we'll forget about him.)

We stood staring for a good five minutes until Naruto getting unceremoniously knocked over like a bowling pin (by a moshpit of Haruhi clones) snapped me out of my trance.

"Come on!" I squeaked, grabbing his hand and hauling him to his feet. "Soul Reapers don't let schoolgirls pwn them like that!"

"Stoofoo," he grumbled, making sure his cardboard Zanpakuto wasn't broken.

"Ohmygosh, look!" I squee-d happily, whipping out my camera. "A Vincent Valentine! I want his autograph! And look, Fire Emblem people!"

"Come on, come ON, Sakura-chan! Cosplay Chess starts in five minutes!"

"Oh god, you're right! Run, Ichigo! Run!"

* * *

Luckily, we made it in time for the sign-ups, but just barely. We stood there panting for a few minutes, trying to get our breath back, when-

"Ouch!" I protested when some idiot practically elbowed me in the face. "Watch where you're go-!"

Another freeze-frame moment. The guy whose arm almost broke my nose was looking at me with a raised eyebrow, but I wasn't really paying attention. Holy Jenova, he was cute. No, _beyond_ cute. I was standing in the presence of a freaking _bishonen_!

Yeah, I'm not kidding! Unlike all the other Americans here, he actually looked Asian, what with that flawless, almost _glowing_ (and very pretty) pale skin. Not to mention those pitch-black eyes, (squee!) and black hair that was spiked up in the back, but it looked natural though it was certainly wild enough to be from a manga.

"Hn," he mumbled, before turning back to waiting in line. I blinked for a moment, then realized what the red thing hanging off the back of his neck was.

"Human swine!" I said, grinning evilly. "How dare you defile a warrior of the forest? I'll have your head for this."

"Hn," he muttered, his hand on the plastic sword at his side. I'm impressed, he's even got the brown splotchy marks painted all up and down his right arm. Somebody's a talented fanboy.

"Hey buddy, the least you could do is apologize!" said Naruto angrily, pretending to draw his Zangetsu. "You almost killed her!"

"Naruto, calm down," I shushed. "It's ok, nobody got hurt. We'll cream each other on the chess board."

He grinned, and muttered something about Bankai.

Oh, this will be fun.

* * *

"Shigure Sohma, move two spaces up and one to your right."

Oh, please. Fruits Basket? This is WAR, man! No place for fluffy shojo characters! Or maybe that's just my shonen-fan-forever side talking…

"Darth Vader, kill Luigi."

I almost burst out laughing as everyone on the board shuffles back to let the combatants duke it out. Come on, DV and Luigi? How can you not laugh at that?

While everyone was watching this ridiculous brawl, I snuck another look at Bishi-Boy standing in the back row with a bored look. Come _on_, he was smokin' hot! Every San needs an Ashitaka, right? I'm such a fangirl…but he was _that_ hot! It had to be fate we're the only PM cosplayers here!

"Ichigo, move one space forward and one space left, take out Chi."

I just managed to clamp a hand over my mouth, otherwise I would've dissolved into un-San-like laughter. This is the kind of stuff I write fanfics about! My favorite shonen stars pwning fluffy shojo girls! YES!

I won't describe too much of the fight, but there was Bankai. Oh, yes. Lots of Bankai. And a Renji from the audience shouted, "Screw you, Kurosaki!"

After the team of Ryuks dragged the "dead" Chi offstage, we resumed our positions. I was a castle, meaning straight lines. Naruto was a bishop (that's diagonal lines, from what I remember) and Bishi-Boy was the King of the White Side. Ooh, what I wouldn't give to take him down! Because San pwns, and I'd totally take him as a war trophy. Oh, I'm fangirling again. Hey, don't blame me, some Tokyo Mew Mews already tried to kidnap him. I'm certainly not the first.

"San, move three spaces up and take out Sai."

Aww, I have to hurt the girly little Go otaku? Aww.

I gripped my spear and grinned maniacally, advancing toward the willowy girl in white, who's practically squeaking in terror.

I did the San equivalent of casting Bahamut.

She died on the spot, clutching her little plastic fan.

"Ha!" I shouted triumphantly, making everyone laugh when she meep-ed and scooted offstage. Oh, I pwn so hard.

I glanced at Naruto standing a few spaces away from me, laughing almost to the point of peeing himself. Gotta love crossover fights.

"Winry, move one space up, one space left, and kill Ichigo."

Mere words cannot describe how hard I laughed. I mean, I felt sorry for Naruto and all, but come ON! She pwned him with a WRENCH! I almost fell over the edge of the stage laughing. The audience was cracking up too, even more so when he got hauled off by his own Soul Reaper buddies instead of those DN shinigami.

After a few more moves, and plenty more fights, and I end up standing pretty close to Bishi-Boy. Squee!

He turned to glance at me with another bored half-glare, to which I responded by petting my spear as if I was thinking about running him through with it.

"Since when does San have pink hair?"

Ok, his voice saying something more than a one-syllable grunt kind of surprised me for a second. I blinked, but managed an evil smirk.

"San can have whatever color hair she wants, as long as your human blood's still as red as she remembers."

Score! Totally in-character!

"Hn."

Oh my god, you _suck_, Your Hotness! Make an Ashitaka-esque retort or something, but don't you dare grunt at _me_, pretty-boy!

"Ask-A-Ninja ninja, kill Raichu."

Ooh, the one thing that could tear my gaze away from that pretty, pretty face. Another crack-crossover fight. And because ninjas pwn everyone. Especially pirates.

Ooh, if this was a flash video, there'd be guts and blood everywhere. So many shuriken cannot be avoided without a huge amount of gore. Shonen-fangirl, through and through.

Naruto waved to me from the audience, sitting by all the other dead people. I smirked back, I promise to avenge his fallen soul if I get near that blonde-

"Ashitaka, move one space to the left."

Bishi-Boy's turn? Wow, he hasn't moved the whole game. He seemed to be smirking as he stepped toward m-

"Kill San."

I froze.

_Um…what?_

Oh, that's right. I'm in his range.

_WHAT THE FRIGGIN'-?!_

"Well, Princess of the Forest," he said, smirking (gorgeously!) as he unsheathed his sword. "Your wolves won't come for you now."

I charged. He smoothly slid his plastic blade across my neck. As much as I wanted to maul him, I had to keep with the game. I clutched at my throat and pretended to cough and writhe for a bit, before falling dramatically to my knees, then facedown on the checker-patterned floor.

I got a good cheer for that little performance. I even kept limp as a Rem dragged me offstage by my ankles. Ouch.

"Hey," murmured Naruto as I plopped dejectedly into the empty seat next to him. "Don't be too hard on yourself, Sakura-chan. That guy just needs a good smack across the face."

_No, don't do that…it might hurt his prettiness._

I didn't really pay attention to the rest of the game. All I know is His Royal Hotness led the white side to victory. Though, when we all crowded up onstage for the website picture, he kind of stood in the back, behind an Inuyasha's sword, as if he didn't want to be in the photo at all.

Cheapskate. A cute cheapskate, but a cheapskate nonetheless.

"Come on, Sakura-chan," said Naruto hauling me off the minute the pictures were done. "Time to hit the Dealer's Room."

Oh god, yes.

* * *

Well, I won't bore you with the details, but we probably would've needed buckets to hold all the drool. My pillaging got me some action figures, some plastic weapons, three T-shirts related to Super Smash Brothers, a Luffy hat, six different flavors of Pocky, and my personal favorite: a bumper sticker saying "Proud Parent of an Anime Otaku." That one's _soooo_ going on my mom's car.

"Sakura-chan, LOOK!"

"Oh em gee!" I squealed like the high-on-Pocky fangirl I am. "Supernova! Outta my way!"

Naruto and I nearly killed some Loveless guys with cat ears in our excitement and haste to get in line for the mother of all dancing games. I got stuck behind a sweaty fat guy in a sailor suit, but I didn't mind. It was DDR!

Ok, flashback (not really) time. Got my first game when I was twelve. Been playing for six long, hard years. I pwn. Nuff said.

"Ohmygosh!" I can't help squealing. "Yes!"

Gad, that line we were standing in took forever. Each game was around five minutes, and there were quite a few people in front of us. Naruto had gotten ahead of me in the line for the other mat, and I got a good view of him doing pretty well at Love Shine. He hopped off after it was done, his black robes sweaty as he grinned like a moron.

"Good job," I whispered, handing him my spear as he stumbled past me, his legs like jelly after an onslaught of Beginner Mode.

"Knock 'em dead, Sakura-chan," he answered back, before collapsing into a chair near the back.

I was getting excited, there was quite a crowd around the two mats. People practically had to be pushed back to keep from interfering with the game. Huzzah.

Wow, the fat guy in front of me _really_ sucked. I think it was a whole twenty seconds of "Boo-s" and he failed. Such a waste of electricity…

"My turn!"

Wow, it feels good to get up on that good ol' mat. I cracked my knuckles a few times, turning to see which opponent I get the pleasure of decimating, when-

"HEY!" I exclaimed, pointing in surprise.

"Oh. It's you."

Wha-ha-ha?! Bishi-boy?! Oh, he is SO dead. This has got to be a conspiracy or something…Lord Ilpalazzo would be proud.

Grahh! Must…concentrate…must…ignore…prettiness…

"Which song, Princess?"

Oh, I am going to PWN him so hard he'll beg for mercy!

"Xepher," I replied, smirking. "Whatever level you want."

"I'll pick Expert," he says, setting the difficulty.

Oh yeah. This'll be fun. I smirked one last time at him as I positioned myself in the center of the mat.

"Are you ready?!" says the annoying hyper voice, and our game begins.

_Left, down, up right, down-left, right, down, up, left, down-right, left, down, left…_

Ha, haven't missed a single step so far. Got one or two Greats, but that's ok, it's still a combo stream. No chance to glance at Bishi-boy's progress if I wanna win this thing.

_Up, left, up-down, up, down, right, down, left, right, down, up, left, up, left, down…_

Gotta keep in the center of the mat…don't want to miss down-steps by moving too far forward…

_Up-right, down, up, left, right, up-right, left, down, right, up, right, left-right…_

Yeah! Yeah! Combo time! SHUT UP, YOU ANNOYING ANNOUNCER-PERSON! I KNOW I'M AWESOME!

_Left, up, left, down, up, right, down, left, up, down-right, up, down, left, up, down, up…_

Ack…too many Greats, I need a Perfect!

_Left, down, up down, left, up, down-right, up-down, up, down, right, left, down, up, right, down, left…_

MWAHAHA! I am teh ownzor! Largo-sensei would be proud!

_Down, right, down-left, down-right, up, down, right, up, down-left, down-right…_

Huff…huff…legs…so…tired…must…go…on…

_Left, right, down, right, up, down, left, right, up, right, down, up, down…_

Almost there…almost…over…yes, yes…

_Down, left, down, left, down, left, right, up-down, hold-left-right…up, down, left, right, down, up, right, down, left-right!_

DONE!

"YESSSS!" I gasped, pumping my fist in the air as I stood, my feet still on those final steps as the screen cleared with computer-generated applause.

My glance towards Bishi-Boy meets with those emotionless dark eyes, but I can see him shaking as he tries to catch his breath. Ha-ha-ha.

The screen blipped and beeped as the numbers added up under the scores, going up and up. We've both got double-As, but it all comes down to who has the higher sco-

Everyone watching us, which had become quite a large crowd, gasped.

I gasped.

I'm pretty sure Bishi-Boy gasped, if only mentally.

Our scores are identical. Down to the last decimal point. Exactly the same.

"What?!" I half-shouted, jabbing a finger at the evil, evil screen. "What is this?!"

"Hn. I expected better," muttered His Hotness, before disappearing into the equally-stunned crowd.

"Hey, girl, your run's over. Let someone else have a turn."

Fuming, I stomped off over to Naruto as the sounds of another game began playing. He noticed my bad mood immediately.

"S'matter?"

"Ugh, I didn't beat that guy. I didn't lose, either. Our scores were the same! And then he had the NERVE to criticize me afterwards!"

His blue eyes bugged out. "No way!"

"Way. Aww, MAN! This sucks!" I complained, crossing my arms. "Why'd he have to be such a cute blockhead? Not faaaaair…"

"Hey, there he goes," said Naruto, leaning close to whisper in my ear as he pointed towards the doorway leading out into the other rooms.

"Ugh, I'm giving him a piece of my mind!" I grumbled, hauling myself to my feet and zooming off in that same direction. Uh-huh, no matter how cute that face was, nobody shames Sakura Haruno and gets away with it!

"Hey!" I half-shouted at his back as I sped around that last corner. "Hold up, you-mmph?!"

His hand came up to cover my mouth so fast, I barely saw it move. That's some crazy ninja skills right there.

"Hey!" I said, pulling his hand off. "What's the big idea?"

"Shh," he hisses, "You're too loud."

"I can be as loud as I want to!"

"Shut _up_, you're so annoying."

"_Annoying?!_ Listen to me, pal, I don't-!"

Ugh, hand in the face again.

"Will you cut it out?! I complained. "What's your deal?!"

He sighed, running a hand through his spiky hair. "Look, just tell me what you want, ok?"

"Oh, I'll tell you. What was that all about, back up there? I could've done _better?_ That's the most arrogant, jerkwad-ish thing any-!"

"I thought you would be an amazing player, considering how smoothly you were watching everyone else's moves."

That shut me up.

"You…wha-?"

He glanced away, staring at the floor.

"You were decent, but…I just thought you'd win in a landslide victory."

"Oh."

Aw, MAN! Now I feel all guilty! Jerk!

"I, uh…I guess I owe you an apology," I said, nervously chuckling as I scratched the back of my head. "Sorry…"

He shook his head. "Hn."

"Ugh, what is it with you and those grunts? 'Hn' is not a word!"

I stared, blinking, when he snorted a little, smirking. And looking very, very pretty while doing it.

"You're loud," he said calmly, "and brash and reckless. You make a perfect San."

I grinned evilly. "Yes, yes I do. Your Ashy costume isn't half-bad either."

"Hn."

"Ugh, again with the 'hn-s!' can't you come up with a better response?!"

Again with the smirk. I knew I was probably as red in the cheeks as my face paint, but it didn't seem so bad.

"Sakura-chan?! That panel you wanted to go to is starting!"

"Oh, shoot," I murmured, waving back to Naruto. "I'll be there in a minute!" I shouted back, before turning back to Bishi-Boy.

"Go on," he said, merely smirking as Naruto flipped him the bird from across the hall. "I've gotta go. My brother's coming to pick me up soon."

"Um…ok. Well, it was nice meeting y-"

I swear, I blinked and he was gone. And I was left standing there staring into space, until I realized what that wet feeling on my cheek was.

_Aaaaagh! That JERK! He KISSED my cheek! (Ooh, I'm never washing it again!)_

"Sakura-chan?"

"Coming, Naruto!" I shouted back over my shoulder, until I realized something white and pointy was sticking out of one of the eyeholes of my red paper-maché mask attached to my white fur cloak.

I pulled it out, unfolding the crumpled piece of paper. How he got it in there without my noticing, I'll never know.

_Dear annoying pink-haired girl._

_Your skills at DDR need some work._

_Here's my number and email._

_See you at the next con._

_-Sasuke Uchiha._

As I skipped towards Naruto, happily ignoring his stare of blank disregard for my sanity, I hummed a little tune from Ouran High School Host Club.

_Kiss, kiss, fall in love!_

Have I mentioned I love cons? Well…I just can't wait for the next one.

* * *

Based on a fanarty sketch I did. :D I laughed so hard while writing this, it tickles me that much. If any of you have already read an AU like this, i sincerely apoligize, but I thought of the idea without any references. O, and those dance steps? Those, except for the last few, are the real steps to Xepher in DDRSN, the last ones are the ending steps. Expert mode kills me, but DDR pwns.

Hope you liked!


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